The Sauce

Ladies and gentlemen, I of all people would be a complete and utter hypocrite if I started chastising the general public concerning the consumption of alcohol. Having a firm past in the hooch, I had my first drink at 11, and began drinking steadily from the time I was 14 or so. Positive influences caused me to think more about all that at 16, and here I am at 20, an occasional, headstrong drinker. Sure, I have my wild nights with friends, blowing up my already god-sized ego to levels one can’t even perceive. But as of late, I’ve come to realize a few things about the world’s favourite legal high (or low if you’re into drug interactions with the nervous system).

It’s come to me slowly after thinking to myself for a good while about what my tastes are, what I like to do, who I like to associate with and what I want to become. Going out to a bar and getting drunk would cost me about $40, sitting in a place with people I don’t know and usually don’t want to know, loud, painted, stupid women, macho, raucous, sex-enslaved men, new-age, crappy, fuckhead music, and cheap beer for $40. Not to mention the shit I feel like the next day.

It only took 3 odd years to realize that this isn’t my scene. I’d much rather forgo the charade of dressing like someone who I’m not, having meaningless shallow conversations with people I know full well don’t give a rat’s ass about “What I’m sayin’ nowadayz”, and cringing under the brunt of the newest pop music. Having a few drinks with close friends beats the hell out of that circus. Ditto for just being around a few close friends, without the booze.

Then there’s the whole issue of how people feel they’re obliged to act whence within the throws of alcohol intoxication. Girls who have trapped themselves into being reserved about their sex life, whether or not that means they make themselves unfulfilled or unhappy, all the sudden let loose from their self-induced shackles and act like complete lapdogs, objects, a perfect replica of what the media wants them to be.

We insult her everyday on TV
And wonder why she has no guts or confidence
When she’s young we kill her will to be free
While telling her not to be so smart we put her down for being so dumb

- “Woman is the nigger of the world”, John Lennon

Males are no better, but that’s a whole other story. What I want to get across is that I’m tired of the charade that this drug causes. Also, I’m tired of the lies that the media feeds us about it. I believe Bill Hicks said it best, regarding TV networks censoring his content:

“Do you understand how much contempt the networks have for us, who put on that purile bullshit, and not give anyone else with a point of view that you may not agree with on television. They kowtow to their fucking special interest groups, and a couple of deranged motherfucking people who hear the word “Jesus” and immediately think I’m making fun of Jesus, when I’m not. They hear the word “gay”, I did not make fun of gays, what I made fun of was the double standard that exists in this fucking country. And they think you’re too stupid to see through that, and that’s exactly what they fucking count on, while they sell the #2 killer drug in this country, alcohol, and they have the gall to do it in your fucking living room, with your fucking children there!

You drug-peddling capitalist motherfuckers!”

There’s really nothing more I can say that affirms the conflict I’m feeling right now than what Hicks said the night this was performed. I’m not saying people are bad for drinking. Most things in moderation are perfectly fine. I’m saying people are bad for not thinking about how they’re influencing this cycle of bullshit by acting the way we’re told to. But hey, it’s Miller Time (TM) , so shut the fuck up Risi.